Thursday, September 19, 2019
Martin Luther King, Jr., ?A Time to Break Silence? Essay -- essays res
Martin Luther King, Jr. is one of the most influential people of this century. People remember King for his humanity, leadership and his love of his fellow man regardless of their skin color. Through reading Kingââ¬â¢s writings and speeches, that changed the world, one can learn that his values of integrity, love, truth, fairness, caring, non-violence, and peace were what motivated him to greatness. One of his less known speeches is ââ¬Å"A Time to Break the Silenceâ⬠, this speech was different than most of Kingââ¬â¢s speeches; the theme of this speech is not civil rights movement, but Vietnam. King addresses the war in Vietnam and he gives reasons why it should not continue. à à à à à He asserts that Vietnam War has hindered the Civil Rights movement to achieve its goals. He expounds that the military drafted young black man to protect the rights of people of Vietnam and yet, these black youngsters did not have freedom for themselves. He says, ââ¬Å" We were taking black young men who had been crippled by our society and sending them 8,000 miles away to guarantee liberties in Southeast Asia which they had not found in Southwest Georgia and East Harlem. So, we have been repeatedly faced with the cruel irony of watching Negro and white to boys on TV screens as the kill and die tighter for a nation that has been unable to seat them tighter in the same schoolsâ⬠¦ I could not be silent in the face of such cruel manipulation of the poor.â⬠King presented to the people a fact that n...
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Essay --
INTERNATIONAL ACCOUNTING ASSIGNMENT Q.1) A brief history of the two organisations, and their objectives, in as far as theyrelate to accounting practices regionally and/or internationally, as necessary. A.1)1. EUROPEAN UNION (EU) The EU was initially formed in the mid 1940's to unite neighbouring nations developed to have a considerably more critical and important purpose. In 1957 the European Economic Community (EEC) was made to fabricate and incorporated economic market between the six establishing parts of the EU. The EEC was referred to a common market between the countries and over the time period more and more and more nations joined the EU, the EEC later got known as the European Community (EC). The EC turned into one of the primary mainstays of the EU and its point was to help make a local market between membered nations where there is an opportunity of transporting products and labour. As the amount of nations expanded the EU set directives for every nation to accompany to harmonise bookkeeping practices, these directives are listed below: ï ¶ The endeavor to harmonise bookkeeping practices was by means of the issuing of directives ï ¶ EU directives have the power of law and the member states are obliged to join the directives into their laws ï ¶ They are trying to bind the member states, yet the outcomes that are accomplished are at the discretion of each member nations. ï ¶ Two directives pointed at harmonising bookkeeping ï ¶ The fourth directive of 1978 includescomprehensive bookkeeping standards for the individuals, and not for united records ïÆ'Ë Measurement (Valuation) guidelines, ïÆ'Ë The guidelines for the making of financial statements ïÆ'Ë Disclosure of data for both public and privately owned businesses ïÆ'Ë Establish the 'tr... ...combinations leading to the SEC removing the requirements for reconciliations CONCLUSION: The globalization is increasing in the world and the companies are going abroad to enter into new markets and capture new customers as well as the investors. The companies need to make accounts according to the new country and the investors need to study the financials of the company before investing into it. This is a problem as due to difference in the accounting standards are causing problems and hence.The financial reporting systems are converging, as international capital markets become more investor oriented since the investors now want to invest more in oversees and the globalization is increasing day by day there is an urgent need to make the accounting information comparable. The International Accounting Standards Board is at the center of the convergence movement now.
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Controlling Case study Essay
Abstract This paper studies management control design of supplier relationships in manufacturing, a supply chain phase currently under-explored. Compared to supplier relations during procurement and R&D, which research found to be governed by a combination of formal and informal controls, supplier relations in manufacturing are more formal, so that they could be governed by more formal and less informal controls. To refine the management control system and influencing contingencies, we propose a theoretical framework specifically adapted for the manufacturing stage. This framework is investigated by an in depth case study of the supplier management control of a Volvo Cars production facility. We identify three types of suppliers visualizing the associations in the framework and illustrating the frameworkââ¬â¢s explicative power in (automotive) manufacturing. Furthermore, the case contradicts that supplier relations in the manufacturing phase are governed by little informal control, because the automaker highly values the role of trust building and social pressure. Most notably, a structured supplier team functions as a clan and establishes informal control among participating suppliers, which strengthens the automakerââ¬â¢s control on dyadic supplier relations. Keywords: Management control; Supplier relationships; Manufacturing; Contingency theory; Case research; Automotive 2 1. Introduction In the current economic environment, characterised by globalisation and enhanced levels of competition, companies require an effective supply chain with inter-organizational relationships (IORs) to strive for sustainable competitive advantage. Not surprisingly, studies show that IORs have a high potential impact on organization performance (e. g. Anderson & Dekker, 2005). Literature, however, also argues that many IORs do not provide the expected benefits and are often terminated because of managing difficulties (Ireland, Hitt & Vaidynanath, 2002). Academics often propose that lack of coordination and opportunistic behaviour of partners are the two main reasons for the relatively high relationship failure rate (e. g. Dekker, 2004). Hence, management control systems (MCSs) are argued to play a critical role in preventing such failure, by establishing governance mechanisms to control the relationship (Ireland et al. , 2002). The fundamental goal of MCSs is to influence decision making in attaining strategic objectives (Nixon & Burns, 2005). In an inter-organizational setting, this implies creating bilateral incentives to pursue mutual goals. Already in the mid-nineties, scholars started calling for more attention for this topic (e.g. Hopwood, 1996; Otley, 1994), and have not stopped since (e. g. van der Meer-Kooistra & Vosselman, 2006). Consequently, inter-organisational MCSs have been studied from several angles, including outsourcing (e. g. Anderson, Glenn & Sedatole, 2000), inter-organizational cost management (e. g. Cooper & Slagmulder, 2004), partnerships (e. g. Seal, Berry, Cullen, Dunlop & Ahmed, 1999), strategic alliances (e. g. Dekker 2004), networks (e. g. Kajuter & Kulmala, 2005) and joint ventures (e.g. Kamminga & van der MeerKooistra, 2007). Yet, the main emphasis was put on relational collaboration during the first stages of the supply chain, namely procurement, which involves the make-or-buy decision, partner selection and contract design, and R&D. Although this historical focus is certainly justified, management control in a later phase of the supply chain, namely manufacturing, remains relatively under-explored (Cooper & Slagmulder, 2004; Langfield-Smith & Smith, 2003). However, purchased products and services for manufacturing account for more than 60% of the average companyââ¬â¢s total costs (Degraeve & Roodhooft, 2001) and are subject to continuous improvement with suppliers, also requiring adequate management control. Therefore, this study illustrates how manufacturers design the MCS of supplier relations in the manufacturing phase of the supply chain, which we refer to as ââ¬Å"manufacturer-supplier relationshipsâ⬠(MSRs). In other words, we abstract from 3à procurement and R&D influences. 1 Nevertheless, management control research on previous supply chain stages, offers a first theoretical insight into how a MCS for MSRs could look like. In particular, prior empirical research on IORs such as R&D collaboration (Cooper & Slagmulder, 2004), strategic alliances (Dekker 2004) and joint ventures (Kamminga & van der Meer-Kooistra, 2007) found MCSs that combine both formal controls, like outcome controls, and more informal controls, such as trust building. Also the execution of service outsourcing projects, like industrial maintenance (van der Meer-Kooistra & Vosselman, 2000), IT (Langfield-Smith & Smith, 2003) and accounting (Nicholson, Jones & Espenlaub, 2006) is governed by a combined MCS. So if we assume these findings to hold for other IOR types (external validity) and neglect potential characteristic differences, MSRs could be expected to be governed by a combination of formal and informal control as well. Yet, by taking into account differences between MSRs and other types of IORs, the MCS design could be different. In that respect, we argue that manufacturing is more formal than procurement and R&D. Indications for that argument and its consequences for management control can be found in the management control framework of Das & Teng (2001). Based on the variables in their framework2, task programmability and outcome measurability, it should be clear that for manufacturing both variable levels are high, or at least higher than in the case of procurement and R&D. Consequently, the framework indicates that formal controls are suited mechanisms to govern MSRs. This argument is strengthened by the type of knowledge usage in MSRs, for which organization literature provides a clear distinction between knowledge exploration and knowledge exploitation. On the one hand, it is argued that the first supply chain phases, think of procurement and R&D, aim at knowledge exploration, while the later stages, like manufacturing, primarily 1 Obviously, procurement and R&D do impact the manufacturing phase. Yet, as our aim is refining supplier MCS design in theà manufacturing phase, we deliberately exclude these influences. In terms of research methodology, this abstraction is put into operation by studying a MSR between a manufacturer facility and supplier facility only dealing with manufacturing, while procurement and R&D are handled by their respective mother companies (cf part three of this paper ââ¬Å"research methodologyâ⬠). 2 Although this framework was originally developed by Ouchi (1979) for use in MCS design within organizations, Das & Teng (2001) further adapted it for use in IORs. Task programmability refers to the degree to which managers understand the transformation process in which appropriate behaviour is to take place. Outcome measurability refers to the ability to measure outcome precisely and objectively. When outcome measurability is high/low and task programmability is low/high, formal outcome/behaviour control should be set up to govern the relation. When both dimensions are low, informal control is preferable, but when both measures are high, both outcome and behaviour control are suited control mechanisms (Das & Teng, 2001). 4à aim at knowledge exploitation. On the other hand, research shows that the exploration of knowledge is best governed by informal controls, while knowledge exploitation is most adequately controlled by formal controls (Bijlsma-Frankema & Costa, 2005). Thus, based on the characteristics of high task programmability, high outcome measurability and knowledge exploitation goals, MSRs could be expected to be governed by primarily formal controls with little informal controls. In other words, the literature offers different management control designs for MSRs regarding the informal control level. Therefore, this study investigates how the MCS of MSRs is designed and how important informal controls are in that design, in particular in IORs between an original equipment manufacturer (OEM) and suppliers of outsourced manufacturing activities in the trend-setting automotive industry (cf Womack, Jones & Roos, 1990). An automobile is a complex product manufactured with thousands of components. Consequently, also this industry increasingly outsourced non-core activities and started relying on suppliers to create lower costs. To that end, a variety of supply chain management practices has been implemented, such as lean supply and continuous improvement. Yet, these induce the need for appropriate management control structures and bi-directional communication to organize and manage the relation (Carr & Ng, 1995; Scannell, Vickery & Droge, 2000). In that respect, one particular automaker, namely Toyota, is known for partnering with suppliers, transferring its expertise to help suppliers and installing softer forms of control including trust. To govern the search for continuous improvement in manufacturing, Toyota established the ââ¬Å"Toyota Groupâ⬠by means of a supplier association, an operations management consulting division and voluntary small group learning teams (Dyer & Nobeoka, 2000). However, practitioner literature (e. g. Automotive News/Automotive News Europe) describes several other automakers governing this search by heavily formalized supplier relations. Contrary to cooperation during procurement and R&D, manufacturing is argued to become much more demanding towards suppliers. Automakers increasingly transfer manufacturing risk and supply responsibility to first-tier suppliers, which results in suppliers delivering to very tight just-in-time and in-sequence schedules (Alford, Sackett & Nelder, 2000). As a result, OEMs install formal controls and supplier improvement techniques, which alert suppliers to the importance of ameliorating supply performance at lower costs. Hence, also automotive practice shows evidence of high and low levels of informal control. Therefore, this study specifically investigates how the MCS of automotive MSRs is designed. Yet, besides illustrating MCS design, this paper contributes to explaining MCS design of automotive 5 MSRs. To our knowledge, little inter-organizational management control research specifically investigated contingency theoryââ¬â¢s explicative power in manufacturing. Naturally, several papers study influences on MCS design in production environments, like the impact of manufacturing flexibility (Abernethy & Lillis, 1995), customization and related interdependence (Bouwens & Abernethy, 2000), profit centre strategy (Lillis, 2002), production strategy, production technology and organization (van Veen-Dirks, 2006). However, these studies investigate characteristics explaining MCS design in one organisation, while our study focuses on inter-organizational relations. To that end, we propose a refined theoretical contingency framework based on recent inter-organizational management control theory, but specifically adapted for the manufacturing stage. This framework proposes several contingencies determining the level of risk, which is governed by different levels of management control techniques. In order to illustrate the validity of the framework in practice and answer how and why automakers design their MCS, we perform an in depth case study of the relations between a facility (VCG) of the international OEM Volvo Cars and a selection of its first-tier supplier facilities. The case study provides considerable evidence of three supplier types, namely batch, low value-added just-in-sequence and high value-added just-in-sequence suppliers, visualizing the associations in the framework between contingencies, risks and management controls. These controls include both formal and informal techniques, of which trust building and social pressure are highly valued. Most notably, VCGââ¬â¢s structured supplier team functions as a clan and establishes informal control among participating suppliers, which strengthens control on the OEMââ¬â¢s dyadic supplier relations. As our framework draws on case findings from other less formal IORs, it seems that our case findings offer more evidence of their external validity. That way, the findings contradict that informal controls play a minor role in automotive MSRs. In particular, VCGââ¬â¢s MCS, combining both formal and informal controls, is argued to be designed specifically to improve supply performance. The remainder of this paper is organized as follows. In the second part, we develop the theoretical contingency framework. The third part describes the case research methodology. The fourth part is the actual case study, which presents VCG, describes three supplier types by means of contingency levels and clarifies how VCG designed the MCS governing them. In the fifth part, we discuss our findings by comparing VCGââ¬â¢s management control with previous findings and elaborating on the significance of VCGââ¬â¢s supplier team. We conclude the paper with a summary of the main findings and some avenues for further research. 6 2. Theoretical framework In this part, we develop a theoretical contingency framework for MCS design of MSRs, which can be found in figure I. > Contingency theory originated with the aim of explaining the structure of organizations by particular circumstances. Later, management accounting researchers adopted and further developed the theory in order to explain the shape of MCSs in organizations (e. g. Chenhall, 2003; Luft & Shields, 2003). Therefore, contingency theory suits this study, regarding MCS design of MSRs and its explicative variables. The central concept of the framework is the level of risk a certain MSR runs. Inter-organizational management control theory proposes two types of risk, which result from five different situational antecedents, characterizing the MSR. Although we clarify both risk types separately, we stress the integrative interpretation of all contingencies jointly determining both levels of risk. Subsequently, this risk is governed by different management control instruments, either with a large or a small role for informal control. 3 2. 1. Performance risk The first risk type is performance risk, defined as the probability of not achieving the MSR objectives, despite satisfactory cooperation (Das & Teng, 2001). This type of risk is also referred to as ââ¬Å"coordination requirementsâ⬠(Dekker, 2004; Gulati & Singh, 1998) or ââ¬Å"the mastery of eventsâ⬠(Tomkins, 2001). As the MSR objective concerns manufacturing as many products of the order book as possible, on time, with good quality at the lowest possible cost, performance risk is the risk of a supply chain interruption disturbing the realisation of this goal. Three contingencies related to technology increase this risk, namely complexity, task uncertainty and task interdependence (Chenhall, 2003). Yet as complexity and task uncertainty are highly related (Chenhall, 2003), the framework does not include complexity separately (cf Dekker, 2004). 3 According to van Veen-Dirks (2006), all situational characteristics and MCS characteristics are determined jointly instead of sequentially. Also Kamminga & van der Meer-Kooistra (2007) propose that the influence of contingencies is not determined by each antecedent as such, but by their interaction. In addition, they suggest studying control as an integrative concept, in which all control dimensions are incorporated. Consequently, we do not propose one-on-one associations between one specific contingency, one specific type of risk and one specific type of control, suggested to suit that risk type. Instead, our model simultaneously studies the associations between situational contingencies, risks and management control techniques, as put forward by the three boxes of figure I. The boxes of contingencies and risks are put together to stress their interdependence and joint impact on management control. 7 Task uncertainty relates to variability in transformation tasks and the available knowledge of methods for performing those tasks (Chenhall, 2003). This situational characteristic determines the measurability difficulty of output and activities (Kamminga & van der Meer-Kooistra, 2007; van der MeerKooistra & Vosselman, 2000), which increases with increasing levels of complexity of both the delivered product and its operational processes (Woodward, 1965). The first complexity is related to the added value of the product and gradually increases depending on whether the supplier delivers a standard component or an important customized module (Cooper & Slagmulder, 2004). The second complexity regards the added value of the production process and reflects the complexity of the supplierââ¬â¢s manufacturing processes needed to effectively produce and deliver products as required. Task interdependence refers to the degree to which subactivities of the value creation process have been split up and made dependent on each other (Dekker, 2004). In MSRs, this interdependence is sequential (Thompson, 1967)4, because the relation involves transferring the supplierââ¬â¢s output to the manufacturerââ¬â¢s input process. The level of sequential interdependence is impacted by the dependence level of the manufacturerââ¬â¢s operational performance on the supply quality (timeliness and product quality). Moreover, the interdependence level of a specific MSR is influenced by the production flexibility required from both parties and the manufacturerââ¬â¢s lack of precise knowledge to perform activities previously done in-house. 2. 2. Relational risk The second type of risk is relational risk, implying the probability of not having satisfactory cooperation because of opportunistic behaviour of the supplier, exemplified in shirking, cheating, distorting information and appropriating resources (Das and Teng, 2001). This type of risk is also referred to as ââ¬Å"appropriation concernsâ⬠(Dekker, 2004; Gulati & Singh, 1998) or ââ¬Å"the generation of trustâ⬠(Tomkins, 2001). Transaction cost economics (TCE) theory5 proposes three contingencies that influence relational risk and subsequently determine appropriate control: asset specificity, environmental uncertainty and transaction frequency (Williamson, 1979). Yet, as the manufacturer possesses no specific assets related to a certain supplier, at 4 Thompson (1967) identifies three levels of task interdependence from low to high, which influence the level of inter-organisational coordination and communication: pooled, sequential and reciprocal interdependence. 5 TCE argues that parties are only boundedly rational and behave opportunistically. Therefore, the total cost of outsourcing is the sum of both the supplied component costs and the transaction costs, including costs for negotiation, drawing up contracts, coordination, control and risk of opportunistic behaviour (van der Meer-Kooistra & Vosselman, 2000). 8 least not in the manufacturing phase of the supply chain, there is no lock-in to supplier opportunistic behaviour. 6 Hence, unlike uncertainty and transaction frequency, asset specificity does not influence supplier opportunistic behaviour in MSRs and is not included in our theoretical framework. Consistent with being a central contingency research concept, environmental uncertainty also forms a powerful characteristic of MSRs (Chenhall, 2003). In particular, this contingency relates to general market uncertainties and uncertainty about unknown future contingencies (Kamminga & van der Meer-Kooistra, 2007; Langfield-Smith & Smith, 2003; van der Meer-Kooistra & Vosselman, 2000). Because manufacturer and supplier interact under these uncertainties, both parties face changes over time, which require detailed contracts (Dekker, 2004). However, incomplete contract theory argues that there exist limitations in drawing up complete contracts, because all future contingencies can not be foreseen, are too expensive to foresee or are too expensive or impossible to contract upon (Gietzmann, 1996). Consequently, the combination of uncertainty and incomplete contracts leads to potential opportunistic behaviour of the supplier. According to TCE, more frequent interactions lower the possibility of opportunistic behaviour (Williamson, 1979). So, to preserve a positive relation between contingencies and relational risk, we could utilize infrequency as contingency variable (e. g. Anderson & Dekker, 2005). Yet, as we study MSRs with no connection to commercial negotiations determining the contract term, we include the antecedent relational stability aim. This contingency relates to the manufacturerââ¬â¢s aim of continued future interactions with the supplier and serves to build bilateral commitment (Cooper & Slagmulder, 2004). We argue that MSRs, in which relational stability is considered necessary and thus aspired by the manufacturer, are subject to higher relational risk. For example, if supplier switching costs are high due to high interdependence, high commitment from the manufacturer could incite the supplier to accept lower quality or delivery performance. Besides including a transaction environment characteristic and a transaction characteristic, we also incorporate a transaction party characteristic (Langfield-Smith & Smith, 2003; van der Meer-Kooistra & Vosselman, 2000). In particular, we include supplier knowledge importance, which encompasses the degree of importance for the manufacturer to know the supplier and to be able to assess characteristics, such as management competence, trustworthiness and willingness to share proprietary knowledge. Usually, this kind of assessment is done by means of first-hand or second-hand experience. Hence, we argue that when the 6 Obviously, suppliers do have specific assets in place, rendering them vulnerable to opportunistic behaviour from the part of the manufacturer. However, this study and the developed theoretical framework only focus on supplier opportunistic behaviour. 9 importance of supplier knowledge rises, the risk for insufficient or erroneous assessment and subsequent supplier opportunistic behaviour increases. 2. 3. Management control system Although MCSs have been conceptualised and categorised in various ways, the current management control literature has reached a consensus on two types of management controls, namely formal and informal control instruments (Langfield-Smith & Smith, 2003). Obviously, studying the usage of informal controls compared to formal controls requires both control types to be included in the theoretical framework. Formal controls are explicitly set up to coordinate the MSR and include outcome controls and behaviour controls. Outcome control involves the measurement and evaluation of the outcomes of operations against pre-defined outcomes or targets, by using several performance measurement techniques (Ouchi, 1979; Dekker, 2004). The most important outcome metrics for MSRs are percentage of defects, quality of delivered goods and on time delivery of goods (Gunasekaran, Patel & McGaughey, 2004). Behavioural control concerns the specification and actual surveillance of behaviour, by means of rules and standard procedures (Ouchi, 1979). Additionally, behaviour control includes evaluating compliance with pre-specified planning, procedures, rules and regulations (Dekker, 2004). Informal controls (also called social controls) are not explicitly designed, but are grown out of shared norms and values, shaped by frequent interaction, meetings and management attitude (Ouchi, 1979; Merchant, 1998). Especially trust building7 has emerged as a very important informal control instrument in inter-organizational MCSs (e. g.Dekker, 2004). While formal controls reduce the risk by altering the incentives for underperformance and opportunistic behaviour, trust mitigates risk by minimizing the fear of underperformance and opportunistic behaviour to occur (Das and Teng 2001). Therefore, we include three types of inter-organizational trust building, namely building contractual trust, competence trust and goodwill trust (Sako, 1992). 8 Contractual trust results from previous contractual relations or grows during the MSR 7 Rousseau, Sitkin, Burt & Camerer (1998, p. 394). Define trust as ââ¬Å"a psychological state comprising the intention to acceptà vulnerability, based upon positive expectations of the intentions or behaviour of anotherâ⬠. According to them ââ¬Å"trust is not a behaviour (cooperation), or a choice (e. g. taking a risk), but an underlying psychological condition that can cause or result from such actionsâ⬠(Rousseau et al. , 1998, p. 395; italics added). As such, trust in itself can not be a control instrument in the MCS of MSRs. Instead, the control techniques are the actions the manufacturer performs to create and build trust in the supplier. 8 Contractual trust is based on the expectation that the supplier will keep promises and comply with agreements made, whether these10 (Sako, 1992). Competence trust is increased by previous good performance, i. e. good quality and delivery results. Moreover, competence trust results from buying activities from reputable suppliers or transferring competences to the supplier. Additionally, product and/or process certification and process standardisation enhance competence trust (Sako, 1992). To develop goodwill trust, Sako (1992) identifies shared values and norms as necessary, but insufficient, as transaction parties also need to show the willingness to be indebted to each other. Gulati (1995) stresses creating and growing an inter-organizational bond of friendship to trigger goodwill trust (Gulati, 1995). Other possible goodwill trust initiators are interactive goal setting, trustworthiness reputation and a long term relationship (Dekker, 2004). Next to these specific trust building mechanisms, the literature also proposes an important overall trust building technique, namely close interaction, based on mutual interests and established by means of joint decision making and joint problem solving via a joint relationship board and/or joint task groups (Das & Teng, 2001; Dekker, 2004). 9 Besides trust building, MSRs can be governed by another type of informal control, which Ouchi (1979) refers to as clan control. Based on shared norms, values and a common inter-organizational goal, supplier behaviour in the interest of the MSR will be reinforced, because suppliers are motivated to achieve the goal (Das & Teng, 2001). This incentive results from inter-organisational social pressure (Spekle, 2001) exerted by the manufacturer, which we believe is social control in its literal meaning. Because of high interdependence between manufacturer and supplier, below standard results of the supplier directly impact the manufacturerââ¬â¢s performance. Consequently, supplier management is unpleasantly confronted with manufacturer management and faces personal humiliation because of the error. Additionally, supplier management runs the risk of their reputation and personal relationship with interacting manufacturer management getting injured. Also Dyer & Singh (1998) mention reputation and personal relations as social control mechanisms, besides norms and trust. By acting as negatively valued social sanctions (Bijlsma- are contractually stipulated or not. Competence trust concerns the expectation that the supplier possesses the necessary technical and managerial competences to deliver the order as agreed. Goodwill trust regards the expectation that the supplier shares an open commitment, with the willingness to perform activities beneficial to the MSR, but possibly neither in the supplierââ¬â¢s interest nor required by the contract (Sako, 1992). 9 Other potential overall trust building techniques in a MSR are communication via regular inter-organizational meetings (Chalos & Oââ¬â¢Connor, 2004; Das & Teng, 2001), information sharing of problem areas (Chalos & Oââ¬â¢Connor, 2004), supplier development activities (Carr & Ng, 1995), networking (Das & Teng, 2001), training (Chalos & Oââ¬â¢Connor, 2004) and the extent to which the employees of both parties understand the factors ensuring the collaborationââ¬â¢s future success (Chalos & Oââ¬â¢Connor, 2004). 11 Frankema & Costa, 2005), these social consequences create incentives for satisfactory supplier performance and render supplier opportunism hard to sustain (Spekle, 2001). If we assume operational snags to be day-today business in MSRs, this social pressure creates an informal means to mitigate risk in MSRs. 3. Research methodology 3. 1. Case study research The empirical part of this paper is based on an in depth case study, which is an investigation of a real life phenomenon, relying on multiple sources of evidence and benefiting from prior development of theoretical propositions (Yin, 1994). This research method suits our research that concerns refining existing interorganizational management control theory for the relatively under-explored manufacturing phase of the supply chain. 10 According to Keating (1995), such theory refinement needs a clear theoretical starting point, supplemented with openness to the discovery of unexpected findings. To balance these theory attachment and detachment requirements, we developed a theoretical framework to guide the data collection, but at the same time used data collection techniques allowing sufficient openness. Furthermore, several interorganizational management control case studies (e. g. Cooper & Slagmulder, 2004; Dekker, 2004; Kamminga & van der Meer-Kooistra, 2007; Nicholson et al. , 2006) strengthen the argument that cases allow investigating in detail the structure and influencing variables of IORs (Sartorius & Kirsten, 2005). These studies show that theory refinement of MCS design can be adequately investigated by means of qualitative research. The social meaning of inter-organizational MCSs, especially regarding the use and interpretation of informal controls, and the subsequent behaviour of companies and employees is very complex. So if we only skim the surface, we will never discover how different parties interpret certain IORs and whether the MCS is designed accordingly. This argument not only justifies the choice for a case study, but also forms the reason 10 Our research corresponds to investigating a complex phenomenon within its real life context of which empirical evidence is rather limited, and answering how and why questions about this phenomenon, for which case study research is most suited (Eisenhardt, 1989; Yin, 1994). Furthermore, Keating (1995) argues that case studies suit three goals and that our theory refinement goal represents the middle ground between theory discovery (describing novel phenomena) and theory refutation (disconfirming well specified theories by bringing in negative evidence). More specifically, our case research is of the theory illustration type, documenting ââ¬Å"previously unappreciated aspects of management accounting practiceâ⬠and identifying ââ¬Å"aspects of the illustrated theory that require reformulation or more rigorous specificationâ⬠(Keating, 1995, p.71). Indeed, the goal of this study is to illustrate how manufacturers design supplier MCSs, to what extent this design differs from designs in other IORs and how the design can be explained by means of a specifically adapted theoretical framework. 12 why more of this research is requested (e. g. Langfield-Smith & Smith, 2003; Dekker, 2004; van der MeerKooistra & Vosselman, 2006). 3. 2. Unit of analysis In most inter-organizational studies, the unit of analysis is one dyadic relation between two independent parties (van der Meer-Kooistra & Vosselman, 2006). Since there exist different dyadic MSRs within one manufacturer and we study MCSââ¬â¢s dependence on relationship contingencies, our unit of analysis consists of specific MSRs. Dyer & Singh (1998) explicitly propose the ââ¬Å"relational viewâ⬠, focusing on the buyer-supplier dyad, as opposed to the ââ¬Å"industry structure viewâ⬠and ââ¬Å"resource based viewâ⬠, when analyzing cooperative strategy and sources of inter-organizational competitive advantage. In order to answer the proposed research questions concerning MSR MCS design, we analyzed all relations after the manufacturer had decided to outsource the manufacturing activities. In other words, we addressed neither the make-or-buy decision nor related commercial negotiations, but collected data from the start of production onwards. Furthermore, we only gathered data on standard MCSs for MSRs with good operational performance. 3. 3. Case company selection The selection of the case company and its suppliers was influenced by two selection concerns: theoretical sampling (Eisenhardt, 1989), and open and flexible access to.
Monday, September 16, 2019
How I Learned to Read Essay
When I was little my Mom and 2 older sisters enjoyed reading. My favorite books when I was younger were the little Critter books by Mercer Mayerââ¬â¢s, which they would always read to me. Seeing them read the books and watching how everything they had read related to the pictures inside the books made me want to learn to read, which led to me learning to read when I was about 5 years old, once I began reading I couldnââ¬â¢t put down a book. At the age of 4 I learned the alphabet and what sounds each letter made. As I got older I began learning how to pronounce words put together and sentences by using flashcards with pictures on them. When I started learning to read I was happy and anxious. Seeing the pictures with the letter it started with helped me remember how the letters sound. An example is D and then there would be a Dog on the flashcard. However learning to read was stressful to me, I would get frustrated and mad because I couldnââ¬â¢t pronounce words correctly. I thought since I wanted to read that I would just begin to read suddenly. I didnââ¬â¢t realize that to learn to read was a dedication and that it would be difficult at the beginning, and that it meant donââ¬â¢t give up and to keep trying until I accomplished what I wanted to learn. Me wanting to learn to read was a goal I had when I was younger, and not only taught me how to read but not to give up on any goals I might have in life.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
Alienation Essay
Metamorphosis is a change in physical form or structure. In The Metamorphosis, there is a literal change in the protagonist, Gregor Samsaââ¬â¢s, physical form from a man to an insect. This metamorphosis brings to light one of the major themes in the novel; the theme of alienation. Todayââ¬â¢s society demands conformity to its norms and any individual who refuses to accept these faces alienation. Such is the fate of Gregor in the story. Before Gregorââ¬â¢s metamorphosis, he is alienated from his job, humanity, his family, and even his body. The metamorphosis, however, takes the alienation to a different plane. In the story, Gregorââ¬â¢s job precipitates his alienation from society, his family, and himself. Gregorââ¬â¢s initial alienation is from his physical body and as the story progresses we find that Gregorââ¬â¢s life as an insect is not much different from his life as a human. From the first few paragraphs we get the impression that Gregorââ¬â¢s metamorphosis has only transformed him from one body to a less convenient one. He does not seem frazzled by his transformation, but explores his new body and tries to work with it. He observes his ââ¬Å"numerous legs, which were pitifully thin compared to the rest of his bulkâ⬠(Kafka, 494), he feels a ââ¬Å"dull ache he had never experienced beforeâ⬠(495), and he discovers a place on his body that he cannot itch. Gregor does not seem to have any emotional change due to this transformation. This is evident when he wakes up after his transformation and is annoyed that he cannot go to sleep because he cannot turn onto his right side. He also thinks about how he can no longer attend work.
AirAsia Consumer Behaviour Essay
1.0. Introduction AIRASIA: AirAsia is a Malaysian company, that introduced the Low Cost Carrier service to the domestic market and eventually the asian region. Currently AirAsia isà the leader in this market segment. Before it becomes the AirAsia that we all know today, AirAsia was a poorly performed company owned by a government-link company (GLC) in Malaysia, DRB-HICOM. In 2001, it was sold to the current owner, Tony Fernandes and its TuneAir company, for a sum of only RM1.00 or approximately US$0.30, together with its accumulated debt of RM40 million (AirAsia, 2008). Within two years, Tony Fernandes exceeds everyoneââ¬â¢s expectations, and turned AirAsia to a profit making company. By the third year it was listed in the Kuala Lumpur bourse with outstanding IPO (initial Public Offer) of RM717.4 million (AirAsia, 2008). In 2006, the AirAsia was given the use of LCCT terminal in Malaysia, because its passenger load have expanded to such a capacity. This assignment will describe how AirAsia, managed to become the company it is today, started with a fleet of only 1 aircraft in 2001, to a fleet of 72 aircrafts, flies over 61 domestic and 108 international destinations, and operates over 400 flights daily from hubs located not only in Malaysia, but also Thailand and Indonesia, and launched AirAsia X for longer haul flights with its wide-body aircrafts, through the eyes of Consumer Behaviour, from psychological drivers, sociological drivers and consumer decision making process. 2.0. Psychological Drivers of consumer behaviour There are psychological drivers that influence the consumerââ¬â¢s behaviour. They are; motivation, perception, learning, values, beliefs and attitudes, and lifestyle, are useful for intrepeting the consumerââ¬â¢s buying process and directing the companyââ¬â¢s marketing efforts. 2.1. Motivation. Motivation is the energizing force that causes behavior that satisfies a need. The needs are hierarchical, from the basic of it and higher. 2.1.1. Hierarchy of Needs From this Maslowââ¬â¢s Hierarchy of Needs, before AirAsia, air travel is generally considered in the higher hierarcy of needs, esteem, where some people intend to show others their ability to travel by air, and visit destinatations that others canââ¬â¢t. This is what AirAsia realized, they created the tagline ââ¬Å"now everyone can flyâ⬠, hence creating the awarenes to the people, and also created the motivation that now air travel is no longerà considered in the ââ¬Ëesteemââ¬â¢ hierarchy of needs, people can travel just to fulfil their Love/Belonging needs, whether people travel to seek the ones they love, friends or family, or they travel to please those loved ones, such as holiday destinations, by air. 2.1.2. Means-end chain. Means-end chain follow a time-honered approach for thinking about motivational issues. The central premise ââ¬â that objects have value only because they produce desirable consequences or enable one to avoid negative consequences ââ¬â is at the heart of most modern conceptualizations of motivation (Atkinson, 1964, Lewin, 1951, Tolman 1959). The above chain shows that at the end of the day, a consumer who purchase AirAsia as way of their air travel, will have excess money to save or to spend on something else in their travel or holiday. The ad above, shows that because of the AirAsiaââ¬â¢s cheap price of airticket to London, consumers get to spend their money on something else, like shopping and visiting heritages places in London. AirAsia marketing people created the motivation of a desirable consequences if consumer purchase their service 2.2. Perception. Perception is ââ¬Å"the process of assembling sensations into a useable mental representation of the world,..perception creates faces, melodies, works of art, illusions out of the raw material of sensationâ⬠(Coon, 1983) or to summarize, is the process by which physical sensations are selected, organised and interpreted. Individuals with the same need might not purchase or choose similar products or service due to the difference in perception. From the perceptual process model above (Solomon, 2006), AirAsia succeded in creating stimulations and attentions, and try to generalized the perception of people that now everyone can fly. Obviously they stimulate the sights first, by using the same tagline in every ads, media and online and billboards. Thus, consumers remember this information, which results when they want to purchase an airline ticket, AirAsia is the first choice comes to mind. 2.3. Learning Learning is ââ¬Å"the process by which relatively permanent changes occur in behavioural potential as a result of experienceâ⬠(Anderson, 1995). AirAsiaââ¬â¢s marketing people understand consumerââ¬â¢s learning process affecting their decision making. 2.3.1. Behavioural Learning. Repeated exposure to an experience will result in the process of developing an automatic response to that particular situation. In the AirAsia case, the company is trying to develop that automatic response is choosing AirAsia as their airline, everytime a customer wants to buy an airline ticket. e.g: As AirAsia owns by Tune group who also owns the Hotel chain of Tune Hotel, the company able to sell air tickets together with hotel fares, resulted in cheaper and convenient way to travel. Customers learned that through the website, they can purchased the air ticket together with hotel. This resulted in repeated behaviour of purchasing AirAsia ticket, as the customer find it more convenient. 2.3.2. Cognitive Learning. AirAsia is trying to make connections between the two ideas of purchasing airline ticket together with the hotel. But now, as the customers uses the AirAsia website to purchase the air ticket, they can also choose a wider range of hotel choices, not just the AirAsiaââ¬â¢s own Tune Hotel Chain. AirAsia through their website now also act as an agent, where customer, as theyââ¬â¢re saving money by buying airasiaââ¬â¢s ticket, have the options to spend more whether to indulge in more luxurious way of staying, by choosing more luxurious hotels that now available in the companyââ¬â¢s website. The above screenshot of airasiaââ¬â¢s website shows that cosumers can purchase airticket and hotel vouchers at the same time. 2.3.3. Brand Loyalty. One of the way of doing applicating learning principles by AirAsia is introducing their reward programs to AirAsiaââ¬â¢s customers, there are the frequent flyer miles, or free ticket, or holiday vouchers to give away to its customers. These things reinforce their behaviour and build brand loyalty toward AirAsia itself. AirAsia is trying to educate the people, they themselves become the catalyst of the learning process. The outcome of learning is memory. By putting inputs and information out there, ââ¬Å"now everyone can flyâ⬠, even the people who are not in needs of air travel, learned that there is now a cheap way to fly. Hence, this information is recovered from memory when these consumers are in need of air travel, and choose AirAsia. 2.4. Beliefs and Attitudes. Beliefs and attitudes play an essential role in influencing the buying decisions of consumers. No matter how good the service is, but if the consumer feels it is useless, he/she would never purchase it. From the attitude-towards-the-ad models, AirAsia, creates such an exposure to ads for consumers, with the same theme of red and white, in their billboards ads, websiteââ¬â¢s look, magazine and newspaperââ¬â¢s ads, thus affecting the beliefs towards the AirAsia brand. Constant exposure to these ads and commercials, with red and white coloured themed, create the attitude of choosing AirAsia, when the time is come for consumer to make a choice. 2.5. Lifestyle. A personââ¬â¢s activities, interests and opinions, often resulted in that particular personââ¬â¢s lifestyle. The technology nowadays created a new lifestyle in peopleââ¬â¢s life. Internet and smartphones is becoming more and more important to people. AirAsia recognized this, beside website as their purchasing portal, now people also can purchase air ticket and hotel voucher as well through their smartphones, by creating application for smartphoneââ¬â¢s plattforms such as iOS and android. 3.0. Sociological Drivers of consumer behaviour 3.1. Personal Influence. Personal influences resulted from the interaction between one individual and others. These influences can also come from opinion leaders, where one individual can exert certain infulence over other people. e.g., in a working environment, when a manager decided to use AirAsia, even for his/her personal travel, his/her subordinances will be influenced to do the sameà thing. 3.2. Reference Groups. When a certain individual looks to a group of people, as a basis of self-appraisal or as a source for personal standards, these group of people can be considered as Reference groups. Marketers must understand: how groups influence individual behaviour, how group influences vary accross products and brands, how to use group influences to develop effective strategies. Recognizing these groups can help the marketing people of AirAsia for their marketing strategies. There are three types of reference groups to create a difference in marketing implications: 3.2.1. Membership group. A membership group is where an individual is actually belong to. 3.2.2. Aspiration group. An aspiration group is a group where an individual want to be indentified to. 3.2.3. Dissociative group. A dissociative group is a group where one individual wants to maintain a distance to, because of differences in values or behaviour. 3.3. The Family. Differential influence of family members can affect the pruchasing decisions. AirAsia recognized this by introducing one credit card for all transactions in their home website. In asian region, in a family, decision usually carried out by the head of the family (the father), or the one who is providing for the whole family. Thus, even where a situation like a joint decision making is arised, the father who has the biggest income usually make the decision. In their website, a father, can create a username, which already included with all the credit cardââ¬â¢s data. In this case, any family member who wants to purchase air ticket can easily use their husbandââ¬â¢s/fatherââ¬â¢s username. 3.4. Social Class. Social class is a relatively permanent, homogeneous divisions in a society into which people sharing similar values, interests, and behaviour are grouped. The determinant of social class usually include occupation, source of income and education. AirAsiaââ¬â¢s marketing strategies and advertisement spotted these social classes in society, especially the middle-class. Theà rise of middle-class economy in asia pacific region created more value-oriented consumer, where value for money is important. Co-workers, students even housewives group can now easily travel and spend holiday together. 3.5. Culture Culture refers to the set of values, ideas and attitudes that are accepted by a homogeneous group of people and transmitted to the next generation. The South East Asian region, where AirAsia is based, is translated to a growing market. By studying the buying patterns of these people, AirAsia can focused their marketing strategies. These growing market in South East Asia, which also recognized by the growing economies, means more and more people have an extra disposable income. The South East Asian people are easily affected by others. A trend is easily formed, if a group of workers, families or students are using AirAsia to travel and explore new places and shared their experiences through social media, it can easily influence other similar groups in the society to do the same thing. 4.0. Consumer Decision Making process. 4.1. Problem recognition. First stage of the consumer decision making process is the problem recognition. At this stage, a consumer is perceiving a need. In AirAsiaââ¬â¢s case, is the need to travel. In some AirAsiaââ¬â¢s advertisement, the marketing people shows a numerous travel destination, with each separate own picture, and shows how cheap it is now to get to those places by using AirAsia as their airline. Hence, it is underlining the need of the people. This relates to marketing mix, of PRODUCT, PRICE and PLACE. For PRODUCT and PRICE, no airlines before airasia can provide this low fare of airtickets. As for PLACE, airasia provides more destination regionally than any other airlines and also have new sales office in major cities not just in Malaysia, but also Indonesia and the Phillippines. Another thing, the internet booking, how airasia manage to save consumerââ¬â¢s time in purchasing of airticket, people can now buy their airtickets online, or even from their smartphones. The ad shows how cheap it is to travel to Paris. The need to travel,à especially overseas, maybe as honeymoon, is already there, but now AirAsia, with these commercials all over the place, is enhancing that need. 4.2. Information search The information search by the consumers, clarify what options are there available to them. Which airline is the cheapest, which one is the most comfortable, hassle free and so on. There are two steps of information search; 4.2.1. Internal Search. Internal search is where one search oneââ¬â¢s memory, recall any previous experience or information, in this case, related to air travel. An individual may remember how hard it is to purchase a ticket using a physical store, where the need to be at the travel agent physically and purchased the ticket. In marketing mix, PROMOTION, airasia is going all-out with their ââ¬Å"now everyone can flyâ⬠tagline. Consumer can see this tagline everywhere; billboards on roadsides, magazines, newspaper, even on news website as pop-up advertisement. Airasia is trying to plant this tagline inside everyoneââ¬â¢s mind, hence, by the time they want to purchase airticket, they straight away remember of airasiaââ¬â¢s ââ¬Å"now everyone can flyâ⬠. 4.2.2. External Search. Sources for external information are usually friends and family, public sources, and marketer-dominated source. Marketer-dominated sources are where AirAsiaââ¬â¢s marketing team excelled at. Their advertising aggressive all over the place and media, their websites are constantly updating with new time-limited promotions, causing people to access it more often. Now, consumerââ¬â¢s can even subscribe for their newsletter by emails. In relation to marketing mix, airasia provide new PRODUCT/SERVICE. The screenshot above shows AirAsia comes up with hassle free website, with its flash page technology, that shows multiple destinations pictures that always changing in the home page. 4.3. Evaluation of alternatives At this stage, a consumer is evaluating what are the alternatives of choicesà he/she has. The company will always enhancing what are their superiorities over competitors. PRICE is one obvious thing why consumer choose AirAsia, theirs will often cheaper than others. Other way doing this is always one step ahead in the technology side of marketing. AirAsia is the first airline that providing online purchasing through the internet. Now, where other low-cost airline also have the same feature on their website, AirAsia have come up with smartphone application. This application can be downloaded to a consumerââ¬â¢s smartphone, and he/she can easily make flight queries or purchasing ticket(s) or even buying hotel voucher, just by using his/her smartphone. 4.4. Purchase decision At this stage, consumer are making their decision in which airline service to choose. AirAsiaââ¬â¢s marketing people understand at the previous stages of CDP, they have excelled. Hence, at this stage, their marketing mix, PRODUCT, PRICE, PROMOTION and PLACE of AirAsia have succesfully target the consumer and guiding them into purchasing their service. 4.5. Postpurchase behaviour At this stage, the consumer compares the service they purchased with expectations and is either satisfied of dissastified. Expentancy disconfirmation with performance approach (Oliver, 1997) and the balancing paradigm (Fournier and Mick, 1999) are two current theories of consumer satisfaction. Satisfaction more likely to lead to repeat purchase/loyalty and positive Word of Mouth (WOM). Dissatisfaction more likely to lead to brand switching, complaints and negative word of mouth (WOM). In AirAsiaââ¬â¢s case, they try to minimize the consumerââ¬â¢s expectations as low as possible. The two pictures above are the screenshot of airasia website when consumer purchasing airticket. It clearly shows that passengers will not get in-flight refreshment, no complimentary luggage, no choice of seats, unless they purchase all of these things in the website. By doing this, AirAsia managed to get their customerââ¬â¢s expectations as low as possible, beacuse they donââ¬â¢t promise other than the service that you, as a customer, already purchased online. 5.0. Conclusion Airasia has established themselves as a profit making company and a succesful low cost carrier that prompted other airlines in the south east asian region to do the same thing. This company build their brand name with their tag line ââ¬Å"now everyone can flyâ⬠, telling people that flying is now more affordable and easy. This tagline is also shaping their marketing mix. For their Product, Price, and Place, airasia clearly introduced a new way of flying by airlines, a cheap and easy one. At Consumer Decision Making process, the Product and Price influenced consumer at the Problem recognizition and Information search step process. With Promotion, they influence the steps of Information search and Purchase decision in the CDP process. Airasia is so aggressive in their promotional activities, by putting their tagline ââ¬Å"now everyone can flyâ⬠in every advertisement and commercials. By understanding the psychological drivers and sociological drivers of consumer, airasia have executed its marketing plan briliantly, putting the type of advertisement that suitable. By understanding the Consumer Decision making process, AirAsia provide what kind of values that consumer seeks and asses in the information search, and evaluation of alternatives stages. By the time consumer making their purchase decision and postpurchase behaviour, these values are good enough to make them purchase airasiaââ¬â¢s service and by not giving the consumer high expectations from the first time, the satisfaction rate from consumer is high. The succes story of AirAsia marketing strategies shows how important it is for a brand to understand the psychological drivers, sociological drivers and the decision making process of consumer behaviour. 6.0. Bibliography AirAsia.com, 2013. Corporate profile. [online] Available at: [Accessed 22 December 2013]. Cohen, J, B, and Warlop, L. A Motivational Perspective on Means-End Chains. [online] Available at: [Accessed 30 December 2013]. Hawkins, D. I., Best, R. J. and Coney, K. A., 2001. Consumer Behaviour: Building Marketing Strategy. 8th ed. New York: Irwin/McGraw-Hill. Lim, Y, K., Mohamed, R., Ariffin, A. and Guan, G, G., 2009. Branding an Airline: A Case Study of AirAsia. [online] Available at: [Accessed 22 December 2013]. Management of Technology, 2009. The AirAsia company strategic management:â⬠How AirAsia can be a leader in the lowest cost carrier in the airplane industryâ⬠. [online] Available at: [Accessed 22 December 2013]. MANAGEMENT STUDY GUIDE, 2013. Social factors affecting Consumer Behaviour. [online] Available at: [Accessed 25 December 2013]. MANAGEMENT STUDY GUIDE, 2013. Psychological factors affecting Consumer Behaviour. [online] Available at: [Accessed 25 December 2013]. Onwutalobi and Claret, A., 2008. Understanding Marketing Mix in AirAsia Airline Bhd. [online] codewit. Available at: [Accessed 30 December 2013]. Sdsu, 2013. how to print notes. [online] Available at: [Accessed 25 December 2013]. Schiffman, L. G. and Kanuk, L. L., 2000. Consumer Behaviour. 7th ed. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall, Inc. The Market, Media, Life., 2013. MARKETING 101: PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTORS OF CONSUMER BUYER BEHAVIOUR. [online] Available at: [Accessed 25 December 2013]. The Market, Media, Life., 2013. MARKETING 101: SOCIAL FACTORS AFFECTING CONSUMER BUYER BEHAVIOUR. [online] Available at: [Accessed 25 December 2013]. THE TIMES 100, 2013. Marketing mix (Price, Place, Promotion, Product). [online] Available at: [Accessed 30 December 2013]. USC Marshall, 2008. Consumer Behaviour. [online] Available at: [Accessed 25 December 2013]. Yaashoda, Y., 2012. AirAsia Berhad: Strategic analysis of a leading low cost carrier in the Asian region. [online] Available at: [Accessed 22 December 2013]. Yeoh, E. and Chan, J, K, L., 2011. Malaysian Low Cost Airlines: Key Influencing Factors on Customersââ¬â¢ Repeat Purchase Intention. [online] IDOSI Publications. Available at: [Accessed 22 December 2013]. Yuswohady., 2012. Consumer 3000: Revolusi Konsumen Kelas Menengah Indonesia.
Saturday, September 14, 2019
The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 3 THE END
I FELT ABSOLUTELY HIDEOUS IN THE MORNING. I HADN'T slept well; my arm burned and my head ached. It didn't help my outlook that Edward's face was smooth and remote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the time I'd spent unconscious, afraid that he might have been thinking about right and wrong again while he watched me sleep. The anxiety seemed to ratchet up the intensity of the pounding in my head. Edward was waiting for me at school, as usual, but his face was still wrong. There was something buried in his eyes that I couldn't be sure ofand it scared me. I didn't want to bring up last night, but I wasn't sure if avoiding the subject would be worse. He opened my door for me. ââ¬Å"How do you feel?â⬠ââ¬Å"Perfect,â⬠I lied, cringing as the sound of the slamming door echoed in my head. We walked in silence, he shortening his stride to match mine. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but most of those questions would have to wait, because chey were for Alice: How was Jasper this morning? What had they said when I was gone? What had Rosalie said? And most importantly, what could she see happening now in her strange, imperfect visions of the future? Could she guess what Edward was thinking, why he was so gloomy? Was there a foundation for the tenuous, instinctive fears that I couldn't seem to shake? The morning passed slowly. I was impatient to see Alice, though I wouldn't be able to really talk to her with Edward there. Edward remained aloof. Occasionally he would ask about my arm, and I would lie. Alice usually beat us to lunch; she didn't have to keep pace with a sloth like me. But she wasn't at the table, waiting with a tray of food she wouldn't eat. Edward didn't say anything about her absence. I wondered to myself if her class was running lateuntil I saw Conner and Ben, who were in her fourth hour French class. ââ¬Å"Where's Alice?â⬠I asked Edward anxiously. He looked at the granola bar he was slowly pulverizing between his fingertips while he answered. ââ¬Å"She's with Jasper.â⬠ââ¬Å"Is he okay?â⬠ââ¬Å"He's gone away for a while.â⬠ââ¬Å"What? Where?â⬠Edward shrugged. ââ¬Å"Nowhere in particular.â⬠ââ¬Å"And Alice, too,â⬠I said with quiet desperation. Of course, if Jasper needed her, she would go. ââ¬Å"Yes. She'll be gone for a while. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali.â⬠Denali was where the one other band of unique vampiresgood ones like the Cullenslived. Tanya and her family. I'd heard of them now and again. Edward had run to them last winter when my arrival had made Forks difficult for him. Laurent, the most civilized member of James's little coven, had gone there rather than siding with James against the Cullens. It made sense for Alice to encourage Jasper to go there. I swallowed, trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat. The guilt made my head bow and my shoulders slump. I'd run them out of their home, just like Rosalie and Emmett. I was a plague. ââ¬Å"Is your arm bothering you?â⬠he asked solicitously. ââ¬Å"Who cares about my stupid arm?â⬠I muttered in disgust. He didn't answer, and I put my head down on the table. By the end of the day, the silence was becoming ridiculous. I didn't want to be the one to break it, but apparently that was my only choice if I ever wanted him to talk to me again. ââ¬Å"You'll come over later tonight?â⬠I asked as he walked mesilentlyto my truck. He always came over. ââ¬Å"Later?â⬠It pleased me that he seemed surprised. ââ¬Å"I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh,â⬠he murmured. ââ¬Å"So you'll come over when I'm home, though, right?â⬠I hated that I felt suddenly unsure about this. ââ¬Å"If you want me to.â⬠ââ¬Å"I always want you,â⬠I reminded him, with perhaps a little more intensity than the conversation required. I expected he would laugh, or smile, or react somehow to my words. ââ¬Å"All right, then,â⬠he said indifferently. He kissed my forehead again before he shut the door on me. Then he turned his back and loped gracefully toward his car. I was able to drive out of the parking lot before the panic really hit, but I was hyperventilating by the time I got to Newton's. He just needed time, I told myself. He would get over this. Maybe he was sad because his family was disappearing. But Alice and Jasper would come back soon, and Rosalie and Emmett, too. If it would help, I would stay away from the big white house on the riverI'd never set foot there again. That didn't matter. I'd still see Alice at school. She would have to come back for school, right? And she was at my place all the time anyway. She wouldn't want to hurt Charlie's feelings by staying away. No doubt I would also run into Carlisle with regularityin the emergency room. After all, what had happened last night was nothing. Nothing had happened. So I fell downthat was the story of my life. Compared to last spring, it seemed especially unimportant. James had left me broken and nearly dead from loss of bloodand yet Edward had handled the interminable weeks in the hospital much better than this. Was it because, this time, it wasn't an enemy he'd had to protect me from? Because it was his brother? Maybe it would be better if he took me away, rather than his family being scattered. I grew slightly less depressed as I considered all the uninterrupted alone time. If he could just last through the school year, Charlie wouldn't be able to object. We could go away to college, or pretend that's what we were doing, like Rosalie and Emmett this year. Surely Edward could wait a year. What was a year to an immortal? It didn't even seem like that much to me. I was able to talk myself into enough composure to handle getting out of the truck and walking to the store. Mike Newton had beaten me here today, and he smiled and waved when I came in. I grabbed my vest, nodding vaguely in his direction. I was still imagining pleasant scenarios that consisted of me running away with Edward to various exotic locales. Mike interrupted my fantasy. ââ¬Å"How was your birthday?â⬠ââ¬Å"Ugh,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"I'm glad it's over.â⬠Mike looked at me from the corners of his eyes like I was crazy. Work dragged. I wanted to see Edward again, praying that he would be past the worst of this, whatever it was exactly, by the time I saw him again. It's nothing, I told myself over and over again. Everything will go back to normal. The relief I felt when I turned onto my street and saw Edward's silver car parked in front of my house was an overwhelming, heady thing. And it bothered me deeply that it should be that way. I hurried through the front door, calling out before I was completely inside. ââ¬Å"Dad? Edward?â⬠As I spoke, I could hear the distinctive theme music from ESPN's SportsCenter coming from the living room. ââ¬Å"In here,â⬠Charlie called. I hung my raincoat on its peg and hurried around the corner. Edward was in the armchair, my father on the sofa. Both had their eyes trained on the TV. The focus was normal for my father. Not so much for Edward. ââ¬Å"Hi,â⬠I said weakly. ââ¬Å"Hey, Bella,â⬠my father answered, eyes never moving. ââ¬Å"We just had cold pizza. I think it's still on the table.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay.â⬠I waited in the doorway. Finally, Edward looked over at me with a polite smile. ââ¬Å"I'll be right behind you,â⬠he promised. His eyes strayed back to the TV. I stared for another minute, shocked. Neither one seemed to notice. I could feel something, panic maybe, building up in my chest. I escaped to the kitchen. The pizza held no interest for me. I sat in my chair, pulled my knees up, and wrapped my arms around them. Something was very wrong, maybe more wrong than I'd realized. The sounds of male bonding and banter continued from the TV set. I tried to get control of myself, to reason with myself. What's the worst that can happen? I flinched. That was definitely the wrong question to ask. I was having a hard time breathing right. Okay, I thought again, what's the worst I can live through? I didn't like that question so much, either. But I thought through the possibilities I'd considered today. Staying away from Edward's family. Of course, he wouldn't expect Alice to be part of that. But if Jasper was off limits, that would lessen the time I could have with her. I nodded to myselfI could live with that. Or going away. Maybe he wouldn't want to wait till the end of the school year, maybe it would have to be now. In front of me, on the table, my presents from Charlie and Renee were where I had left them, the camera I hadn't had the chance to use at the Cullens' sitting beside the album. I touched the pretty cover of the scrapbook my mother had given me, and sighed, thinking of Renee. Somehow, living without her for as long as I had did not make the idea of a more permanent separation easier. And Charlie would be left all alone here, abandoned. They would both be so hurt But we'd come back, right? We'd visit, of course, wouldn't we? I couldn't be certain about the answer to that. I leaned my cheek against my knee, staring at the physical tokens of my parents' love. I'd known this path I'd chosen was going to be hard. And, after all, I was thinking about the worst-case scenariothe very worst I could live through. I touched the scrapbook again, flipping the front cover over. Little metal corners were already in place to hold the first picture. It wasn't a half-bad idea, to make some record of my life here. I felt a strange urge to get started. Maybe I didn't have that long left in Forks. I toyed with the wrist strap on the camera, wondering about the first picture on the roll. Could it possibly turn out anything close to the original? I doubted it. But he didn't seem worried that it would be blank. I chuckled to myself, thinking of his carefree laughter last night. The chuckle died away. So much had changed, and so abruptly. It made me feel a little bit dizzy, like I was standing on an edge, a precipice somewhere much too high. I didn't want to think about that anymore. I grabbed the camera and headed up the stairs. My room hadn't really changed all that much in the seventeen years since my mother had been here. The walls were still light blue, the same yellowed lace curtains hung in front of the window. There was a bed, rather than a crib, but she would recognize the quilt draped untidily over the topit had been a gift ROM Gran. Regardless, I snapped a picture of my room. There wasn't much else I could do tonightit was too dark outsideand the feeling was growing stronger, it was almost a compulsion now. I would record everything about Forks before I had to leave it. Change was coming. I could feel it. It wasn't a pleasant prospect, not when life was perfect the way it was. I took my time coming back down the stairs, camera in hand, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I thought of the strange distance I didn't want to see in Edward's eyes. He would get over this. Probably he was worried that I would be upset when he asked me to leave. I would let him work through it without meddling. And I would be prepared when he asked. I had the camera ready as I leaned around the corner, being sneaky. I was sure there was no chance that I had caught Edward by surprise, but he didn't look up. I felt a brief shiver as something icy twisted in my stomach; I ignored that and took the picture. They both looked at me then. Charlie frowned. Edward's face was empty, expressionless. ââ¬Å"What are you doing, Bella?â⬠Charlie complained. ââ¬Å"Oh, come on.â⬠I pretended to smile as I went to sit on the floor in front of the sofa where Charlie lounged. ââ¬Å"You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents. I have to get to work before she can get her feelings hurt.â⬠ââ¬Å"Why are you taking pictures of me, though?â⬠he grumbled. ââ¬Å"Because you're so handsome,â⬠I replied, keeping it light. ââ¬Å"And because, since you bought the camera, you're obligated to be one of my subjects.â⬠He mumbled something unintelligible. ââ¬Å"Hey, Edward,â⬠I said with admirable indifference. ââ¬Å"Take one of me and my dad together.â⬠I threw the camera toward him, carefully avoiding his eyes, and knelt beside the arm of the sofa where Charlie's face was. Charlie sighed. ââ¬Å"You need to smile, Bella,â⬠Edward murmured. I did my best, and the camera flashed. ââ¬Å"Let me take one of you kids,â⬠Charlie suggested. I knew he was just trying to shift the camera's focus fromhimself. Edward stood and lightly tossed him the camera. I went to stand beside Edward, and the arrangement felt formal and strange to me. He put one hand lightly on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm more securely around his waist. I wanted to look at his face, but I was afraid to. ââ¬Å"Smile, Bella,â⬠Charlie reminded me again. I took a deep breath and smiled. The flash blinded me. ââ¬Å"Enough pictures for tonight,â⬠Charlie said then, shoving the camera into a crevice of the sofa cushions and rolling over it. ââ¬Å"You don't have to use the whole roll now.â⬠Edward dropped his hand from my shoulder and twisted casually out of my arm. He sat back down in the armchair. I hesitated, and then went to sit against the sofa again. I was suddenly so frightened that my hands were shaking. I pressed them into my stomach to hide them, put my chin on my knees and stared at the TV screen in front of me, seeing nothing. When the show ended, I hadn't moved an inch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward stand. ââ¬Å"I'd better get home,â⬠he said. Charlie didn't look up from the commercial. ââ¬Å"See ya.â⬠I got awkwardly to my feetI was stiff from sitting so stilland followed Edward out the front door. He went straight to his car. ââ¬Å"Will you stay?â⬠I asked, no hope in my voice. I expected his answer, so it didn't hurt as much. ââ¬Å"Not tonight.â⬠I didn't ask for a reason. He got in his car and drove away while I stood there, unmoving. I barely noticed that it was raining. I waited, without knowing what I waited for, until the door opened behind me. ââ¬Å"Bella, what are you doing?â⬠Charlie asked, surprised to see me standing there alone and dripping. ââ¬Å"Nothing.â⬠I turned and trudged back to the house. It was a long night, with little in the way of rest. I got up as soon as there was a faint light outside my window. I dressed for school mechanically, waiting for the clouds to brighten. When I had eaten a bowl of cereal, I decided that it was light enough for pictures. I took one of my truck, and then the front of the house. I turned and snapped a few of the forest by Charlie's house. Funny how it didn't seem sinister like it used to. I realized I would miss thisthe green, the timelessness, the mystery of the woods. All of it. I put the camera in my school bag before I left. I tried to concentrate on my new project rather than the fact that Edward apparently hadn't gotten over things during the night. Along with the fear, I was beginning to feel impatience. How long could this last? It lasted through the morning. He walked silently beside me, never seeming to actually look at me. I tried to concentrate on my classes, but not even English could hold my attention. Mr. Berty had to repeat his question about Lady Capulet twice before I realized he was talking to me. Edward whispered the correct answer under his breath and then went back to ignoring me. At lunch, the silence continued. I felt like I was going to start screaming at any moment, so, to distract myself, I leaned across the table's invisible line and spoke to Jessica. ââ¬Å"Hey, Jess?â⬠ââ¬Å"What's up, Bella?â⬠ââ¬Å"Could you do me a favor?â⬠I asked, reaching into my bag. ââ¬Å"My mom wants me to get some pictures of my friends for a scrapbook. So, take some pictures of everybody, okay?â⬠I handed her the camera. ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠she said, grinning, and turned to snap a candid shot of Mike with his mouth full. A predictable picture war ensued. I watched them hand the camera around the table, giggling and flirting and complaining about being on film. It seemed strangely childish. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for normal human behavior today. ââ¬Å"Uh-oh,â⬠Jessica said apologetically as she returned the camera. ââ¬Å"I think we used all your film.â⬠ââ¬Å"That's okay. I think I already got pictures of everything else I needed.â⬠After school, Edward walked me back to the parking lot in silence. I had to work again, and for once, I was glad. Time with me obviously wasn't helping things. Maybe time alone would be better. I dropped my film off at the Thriftway on my way to Newton's, and then picked up the developed pictures after work. At home, I said a brief hi to Charlie, grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen, and hurried up to my room with the envelope of photographs tucked under my arm. I sat in the middle of my bed and opened the envelope with wary curiosity. Ridiculously, I still half expected the first print to be a blank. When I pulled it out, I gasped aloud. Edward looked just as beautiful as he did in real life, staring at me out of the picture with the warm eyes I'd missed for the past few days. It was almost uncanny that anyone could look so so beyond description. No thousand words could equal this picture. I flipped through the rest of the stack quickly once, and then laid three of them out on the bed side by side. The first was the picture of Edward in the kitchen, his warm eyes touched with tolerant amusement. The second was Edward and Charlie, watching ESPN. The difference in Edward's expression was severe. His eyes were careful here, reserved. Still breathtakingly beautiful, but his face was colder, more like a sculpture, less alive. The last was the picture of Edward and me standing awkwardly side by side. Edward's face was the same as the last, cold and statue-like. But that wasn't the most troubling part of this photograph. The contrast between the two of us was painful. He looked like a god. I looked very average, even for a human, almost shamefully plain. I flipped the picture over with a feeling of disgust. Instead of doing my homework, I stayed up to put my pictures into the album. With a ballpoint pen I scrawled captions under all the pictures, the names and the dates. I got to the picture of Edward and me, and, without looking at it too long, I folded it in half and stuck it under the metal tab, Edward-side up. When I was done, I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope and penned a long thank-you letter to Renee. Edward still hadn't come over. I didn't want to admit that he was the reason I'd stayed up so late, but of course he was. I tried to remember the last time he'd stayed away like this, without an excuse, a phone call He never had. Again, I didn't sleep well. School followed the silent, frustrating, terrifying pattern of the last two days. I felt relief when I saw Edward waiting for me in the parking lot, but it faded quickly. He was no different, unless maybe more remote. It was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess. My birthday already felt like the distant past. If only Alice would come back. Soon. Before this got any more out of hand. But I couldn't count on that. I decided that, if I couldn't talk to him today, really talk, then I was going to see Carlisle tomorrow. I had to do something. After school, Edward and I were going to talk it out, I promised myself. I wasn't accepting any excuses. He walked me to my truck, and I steeled myself to make my demands. ââ¬Å"Do you mind if I come over today?â⬠he asked before we got to the truck, beating me to the punch. ââ¬Å"Of course not.â⬠ââ¬Å"Now?â⬠he asked again, opening my door for me. ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠I kept my voice even, though I didn't like the urgency in his tone. ââ¬Å"I was just going to drop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there.â⬠He looked at the fat envelope on the passenger seat. Suddenly, he reached over me and snagged it. ââ¬Å"I'll do it,â⬠he said quietly. ââ¬Å"And I'll still beat you there.â⬠He smiled my favorite crooked smile, but it was wrong. It didn't reach his eyes. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠I agreed, unable to smile back. He shut the door, and headed toward his car. He did beat me home. He was parked in Charlie's spot when I pulled up in front of the house. That was a bad sign. He didn't plan to stay, then. I shook my head and took a deep breath, trying to locate some courage. He got out of his car when I stepped out of the truck, and came to meet me. He reached to take my book bag from me. That was normal. But he shoved it back onto the seat. That was not normal. ââ¬Å"Come for a walk with me,â⬠he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand. I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didn't like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again. But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking me? We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trailI could still see the house. Some walk. Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable. ââ¬Å"Okay, let's talk,â⬠I said. It sounded braver than it felt. He took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"Bella, we're leaving.â⬠I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask. ââ¬Å"Why now? Another yearâ⬠ââ¬Å"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless.â⬠His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. He stared back coldly. With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood. ââ¬Å"When you say we,â⬠I whispered. ââ¬Å"I mean my family and myself.â⬠Each word separate and distinct. I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak. ââ¬Å"Okay,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"I'll come with you.â⬠ââ¬Å"You can't, Bella. Where we're going It's not the right place for you.â⬠ââ¬Å"Where you are is the right place for me.â⬠ââ¬Å"I'm no good for you, Bella.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't be ridiculous.â⬠I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. ââ¬Å"You're the very best part of my life.â⬠ââ¬Å"My world is not for you,â⬠he said grimly. ââ¬Å"What happened with Jasperthat was nothing, Edward! Nothing!â⬠ââ¬Å"You're right,â⬠he agreed. ââ¬Å"It was exactly what was to be expected.â⬠ââ¬Å"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stayâ⬠ââ¬Å"As long as that was best for you,â⬠he interrupted to correct me. ââ¬Å"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?â⬠I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of mesomehow it still sounded like a plea. ââ¬Å"Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without youit's yours already!â⬠He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harderlike the liquid gold had frozen solid. ââ¬Å"Bella, I don't want you to come with me.â⬠He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent. ââ¬Å"You don't want me?â⬠I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topazhard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in rheir bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken. ââ¬Å"Well, that changes things.â⬠I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realize what he was telling me. It still didn't make any sense. He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. ââ¬Å"Of course, I'll always love you in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human.â⬠He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. ââ¬Å"I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that.â⬠ââ¬Å"Don't.â⬠My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. ââ¬Å"Don't do this.â⬠He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had. ââ¬Å"You're not good for me, Bella.â⬠He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him. I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again. ââ¬Å"If that's what you want.â⬠He nodded once. My whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck. ââ¬Å"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much,â⬠he said. I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask. ââ¬Å"Anything,â⬠I vowed, my voice faintly stronger. As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming. ââ¬Å"Don't do anything reckless or stupid,â⬠he ordered, no longer detached. ââ¬Å"Do you understand what I'm saying?â⬠I nodded helplessly. His eyes cooled, the distance returned. ââ¬Å"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourselffor him.â⬠I nodded again. ââ¬Å"I will,â⬠I whispered. He seemed to relax just a little. ââ¬Å"And I'll make you a promise in return,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed.â⬠My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away. He smiled gently. ââ¬Å"Don't worry. You're humanyour memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind.â⬠ââ¬Å"And your memories?â⬠I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking. ââ¬Å"Wellâ⬠he hesitated for a short secondâ⬠I won't forget. But my kind we're very easily distracted.â⬠He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes. He took a step away from me. ââ¬Å"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again.â⬠The plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything. ââ¬Å"Alice isn't coming back,â⬠I realized. I don't know how he heard methe words made no soundbut he seemed to understand. He shook his head slowly, always watching my face. ââ¬Å"No. They're all gone. I staved behind to tell you goodbye.â⬠ââ¬Å"Alice is gone?â⬠My voice was blank with disbelief. ââ¬Å"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you.â⬠I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in Phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the X-rays. You can see it's a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly . I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare. ââ¬Å"Goodbye, Bella,â⬠he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice. ââ¬Å"Wait!â⬠I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward. I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed. ââ¬Å"Take care of yourself,â⬠he breathed, cool against my skin. There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage. He was gone. With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over. Love, life, meaning over. I walked and walked. Time made no sense as I pushed slowly through the thick undergrowth. It was hours passing, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the same no matter how far I went. I started to worry that I was traveling in a circle, a very small circle at that, but I kept going. I stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, I fell often, too. Finally, I tripped over somethingit was black now, I had no idea what caught my footand I stayed down. I rolled onto my side, so that I could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken. As I lay there, I had a feeling that more time was passing than I realized. I couldn't remember how long it had been since nightfall. Was it always so dark here at night? Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground. Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black. Perhaps there was no moon tonighta lunar eclipse, a new moon. A new moon. I shivered, though I wasn't cold. It was black for a long time before I heard them calling. Someone was shouting my name. It was muted, muffled by the wet growth that surrounded me, but it was definitely my name. I didn't recognize the voice. I thought about answering, but I was dazed, and it took a long time to come to the conclusion that I should answer. By then, the calling had stopped. Sometime later, the rain woke me up. I don't think I'd really fallen asleep; I was just lost in an unthinking stupor, holding with all my strength to the numbness that kept me from realizing what I didn't want to know. The rain bothered me a little. It was cold. I unwrapped my arms from around my legs to cover my face. It was then that I heard the calling again. It was farther away this time, and sometimes it sounded like several voices were calling at once. I tried to breathe deeply. I remembered that I should answer, but I didn't think they would be able to hear me. Would I be able to shout loud enough? Suddenly, there was another sound, startlingly close. A kind of snuffling, an animal sound. It sounded big. I wondered if I should feel afraid. I didn'tjust numb. It didn't matter. The snuffling went away. The rain continued, and I could feel the water pooling up against my cheek. I was trying to gather the strength to turn my head when I saw the light. At first it was just a dim glow reflecting off the bushes in the distance. It grew brighter and brighter, illuminating a large space unlike the focused beam of a flashlight. The light broke through the closest brush, and I could see that it was a propane lantern, but that was all I could seethe brightness blinded me for a moment. ââ¬Å"Bella.â⬠The voice was deep and unfamiliar, but full of recognition. He wasn't calling my name to search, he was acknowledging that I was found. I stared upimpossibly high it seemedat the dark face that I could now see above me. I was vaguely aware that the stranger probably only looked so tall because my head was still on the ground. ââ¬Å"Have you been hurt?â⬠I knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could the meaning matter at this point? ââ¬Å"Bella, my name is Sam Uley.â⬠There was nothing familiar about his name. ââ¬Å"Charlie sent me to look for you.â⬠Charlie? That struck a chord, and I tried to pay more attention to what he was saying. Charlie mattered, if nothing else did. The tall man held out a hand. I gazed at it, not sure what I was supposed to do. His black eyes appraised me for a second, and then he shrugged. In a quick and supple notion, he pulled me up from the ground and into his arms. I hung there, limp, as he loped swiftly through the wet forest. Some part of me knew this should upset mebeing carried away by a stranger. But there was nothing left in me to upset. It didn't seem like too much time passed before there were lights and the deep babble of many male voices. Sam Uley slowed as he approached the commotion. ââ¬Å"I've got her!â⬠he called in a booming voice. The babble ceased, and then picked up again with more intensity. A confusing swirl of faces moved over me. Sam's voice was the only one that made sense in the chaos, perhaps because my ear was against his chest. ââ¬Å"No, I don't think she's hurt,â⬠he told someone. ââ¬Å"She just keeps saying ââ¬ËHe's gone.' ââ¬Å" Was I saying that out loud? I bit down on my lip. ââ¬Å"Bella, honey, are you all right?â⬠That was one voice I would know anywhereeven distorted, as it was now, with worry. ââ¬Å"Charlie?â⬠My voice sounded strange and small. ââ¬Å"I'm right here, baby.â⬠There was a shifting under me, followed by the leathery smell of my dad's sheriff jacket. Charlie staggered under my weight. ââ¬Å"Maybe I should hold on to her,â⬠Sam Uley suggested. ââ¬Å"I've got her,â⬠Charlie said, a little breathless. He walked slowly, struggling. I wished I could tell him to put me down and let me walk, but I couldn't find my voice. There were lights everywhere, held by the crowd walking with him. It felt like a parade. Or a funeral procession. I closed my eyes. ââ¬Å"We're almost home now, honey,â⬠Charlie mumbled now and then. I opened my eyes again when I heard the door unlock. We were on the porch of our house, and the tall dark man named Sam was holding the door for Charlie, one arm extended toward us, as if he was preparing to catch me when Charlie's arms failed. But Charlie managed to get me through the door and to the couch in the living room. ââ¬Å"Dad, I'm all wet,â⬠I objected feebly. ââ¬Å"That doesn't matter.â⬠His voice was gruff. And then he was talking to someone else. ââ¬Å"Blankets are in the cupboard at the top of the stairs.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠a new voice asked. I looked at the gray-haired man leaning over me, and recognition came after a few slow seconds. ââ¬Å"Dr. Gerandy?â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"That's right, dear,â⬠he said. ââ¬Å"Are you hurt, Bella?â⬠It took me a minute to think that through. I was confused by the memory of Sam Uley's similar question in the woods. Only Sam had asked something else: Have you been hurt? he'd said. The difference seemed significant somehow. Dr. Gerandy was waiting. One grizzled eyebrow rose, and the wrinkles on his forehead deepened. ââ¬Å"I'm not hurt,â⬠I lied. The words, were true enough for what he'd asked. His warm hand touched my forehead, and his fingers pressed against the inside of my wrist. I watched his lips as he counted to himself, his eyes on his watch. ââ¬Å"What happened to you?â⬠he asked casually. I froze under his hand, tasting panic in the back of my throat. ââ¬Å"Did you get lost in the woods?â⬠he prodded. I was aware of several other people listening. Three tall men with dark facesfrom La Push, the Quileute Indian reservation down on the coastline, I guessedSam Uley among them, were standing very close together and staring at me. Mr. Newton was there with Mike and Mr. Weber, Angela's father; they all were watching me more surreptitiously than the strangers. Other deep voices rumbled from the kitchen and outside the front door. Half the town must have been looking for me. Charlie was the closest. He leaned in to hear my answer. ââ¬Å"Yes,â⬠I whispered. ââ¬Å"I got lost.â⬠The doctor nodded, thoughtful, his fingers probing gently against the glands under my jaw. Charlie's face hardened. ââ¬Å"Do you feel tired?â⬠Dr. Gerandy asked. I nodded and closed my eyes obediently. ââ¬Å"I don't think there's anything wrong with her,â⬠I heard the doctor mutter to Charlie after a moment. ââ¬Å"Just exhaustion. Let her sleep it off, and I'll come check on her tomorrow,â⬠he paused. He must have looked at his watch, because he added, ââ¬Å"Well, later today actually.â⬠There was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to their feet. ââ¬Å"Is it true?â⬠Charlie whispered. Their voices were farther away now. I strained to hear. ââ¬Å"Did they leave?â⬠ââ¬Å"Dr. Cullen asked us not to say anything,â⬠Dr. Gerandy answered. ââ¬Å"The offer was very sudden; they had to choose immediately. Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out of leaving.â⬠ââ¬Å"A little warning might have been nice,â⬠Charlie grumbled. Dr. Gerandy sounded uncomfortable when he replied. ââ¬Å"Yes, well, in this situation, some warning might have been called for.â⬠I didn't want to listen anymore. I felt around for the edge of the quilt someone had laid on top of me, and pulled it over my ear. I drifted in and out of alertness. I heard Charlie whisper thanks to the volunteers as, one by one, they left. I felt his fingers on my forehead, and then the weight of another blanket. The phone rang a few times, and he hurried to catch it before it could wake me. He muttered reassurances in a low voice to the callers. ââ¬Å"Yeah, we found her. She's okay. She got lost. She's fine now,â⬠he said again and again. I heard the springs in the armchair groan when he settled himself in for the night. A few minutes later, the phone rang again. Charlie moaned as he struggled to his feet, and then he rushed, stumbling, to the kitchen I pulled my head deeper under the blankets, not wanting to listen to the same conversation again. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠Charlie said, and yawned. His voice changed, it was much more alert when he spoke again. ââ¬Å"Where?'â⬠There was a pause. ââ¬Å"You're sure it's outside the reservation?â⬠Another short pause. ââ¬Å"But what could be burning out there?â⬠He sounded both worried and mystified. ââ¬Å"Look, I'll call down there and check it out.â⬠I listened with more interest as he punched in a number. ââ¬Å"Hey, Billy, it's Charliesorry I'm calling so early no, she's fine. She's sleeping Thanks, but that's not why I called. I just got a call from Mrs. Stanley, and she says that from her second-story window she can see fires out on the sea cliffs, but I didn't really Oh!â⬠Suddenly there was an edge in his voiceirritation or anger. ââ¬Å"And why are they doing that? Uh huh. Really?â⬠He said it sarcastically. ââ¬Å"Well, don't apologize to me. Yeah, yeah. Just make sure the flames don't spread I know, I know, I'm surprised they got them lit at all in this weather.â⬠Charlie hesitated, and then added grudgingly. ââ¬Å"Thanks for sending Sam and the other boys up. You were rightthey do know the forest better than we do. It was Sam who found her, so I owe you one Yeah, I'll talk to you later,â⬠he agreed, still sour, before hanging up. Charlie muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room. ââ¬Å"What's wrong?â⬠I asked. He hurried to my side. ââ¬Å"I'm sorry I woke you, honey.â⬠ââ¬Å"Is something burning?â⬠ââ¬Å"It's nothing,â⬠he assured me. ââ¬Å"Just some bonfires out on the cliffs.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bonfires?â⬠I asked. My voice didn't sound curious. It sounded dead. Charlie frowned. ââ¬Å"Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy,â⬠he explained. ââ¬Å"Why?â⬠I wondered dully. I could tell he didn't want to answer. He looked at the floor under his knees. ââ¬Å"They're celebrating the news.â⬠His tone was bitter. There was only one piece of news I could think of, try as I might not to. And then the pieces snapped together. ââ¬Å"Because the Cullens left,â⬠I whispered. ââ¬Å"They don't like the Cullens in La PushI'd forgotten about that.â⬠The Quileutes had their superstitions about the ââ¬Å"cold ones,â⬠the blood-drinkers that were enemies to their tribe, just like they had their legends of the great flood and wolf-men ancestors. Just stories, folklore, to most of them. Then there were the few that believed. Charlie's good friend Billy Black believed, though even Jacob, his own son, thought he was full of stupid superstitions. Billy had warned me to stay away from the Cullens The name stirred something inside me, something that began to claw its way toward the surface, something I knew I didn't want to face. ââ¬Å"It's ridiculous,â⬠Charlie spluttered. We sat in silence for a moment. The sky was no longer black outside the window. Somewhere behind the rain, the sun was beginning to rise. ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠Charlie asked. I looked at him uneasily. ââ¬Å"He left you alone in the woods?â⬠Charlie guessed. I deflected his question. ââ¬Å"How did you know where to find me?â⬠My mind shied away from the inevitable awareness that was coming, coming quickly now. ââ¬Å"Your note,â⬠Charlie answered. surprised. He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a much-abused piece of paper. It was dirty and damp, with multiple creases from being opened and refolded many times. He unfolded it again, and held it up as evidence. The messy handwriting was remarkably close to my own. Going for a walk with Edward, up the path, it said. Back soon, B. ââ¬Å"When you didn't come back, I called the Cullens, and no one answered,â⬠Charlie said in a low voice. ââ¬Å"Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone.â⬠ââ¬Å"Where did they go?â⬠I mumbled. He stared at me. ââ¬Å"Didn't Edward tell you?â⬠I shook my head, recoiling. The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was clawing inside of mea pain that knocked me breathless, astonished me with its force. Charlie eyed me doubtfully as he answered. ââ¬Å"Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him.â⬠Sunny L.A. The last place they would really go. I remembered my nightmare with the mirror the bright sunlight shimmering off of his skin Agony ripped through me with the memory of his face. ââ¬Å"I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods,â⬠Charlie insisted. His name sent another wave of torture through me. I shook my head, frantic, desperate to escape the pain. ââ¬Å"It was my fault. He left me right here on the trail, in sight of the house but I tried to follow him.â⬠Charlie started to say something; childishly, I covered my ears. ââ¬Å"I can't talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room.â⬠Before he could answer, I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up the stairs. Someone had been in the house to leave a note for Charlie, a note that would lead him to find me. From the minute that I'd realized this, a horrible suspicion began to grow in my head. I rushed to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CD player by my bed. Everything looked exactly the same as I'd left it. I pressed down on the top of the CD player. The latch unhooked, and the lid slowly swung open. It was empty. The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed, just where I'd put it last. I lifted the cover with a shaking hand. I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page. The little metal corners no longer held a picture in place. The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the bottom: Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th. I stopped there. I was sure that he would have been very thorough. It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me. I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under. I did not resurface.
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